The Real You Unveiled
There is a lot to be said about “authenticity.”
As a burn survivor, this word has taken on profound meaning in my life. I have learned, through personal experience, that one’s true identity is buried within the idea of authenticity. The freedom that comes from living an authentic life oftentimes leads us to our purpose.
My name is Kechi Okwuchi. I’m a 33-year-old singer/songwriter, professional speaker, MBA graduate and author of More Than My Scars. I am also a burn survivor. Houston has been my home since 2007, when I moved to the States with my family for reconstructive surgery at the Shriners Children’s burns hospital in Galveston, Texas.
On December 10, 2005, I boarded a plane with 60 other students from my boarding school in Nigeria. We were heading home for Christmas. There were a total of 109 passengers on that commercial aircraft, including flight crew.
The flight was uneventful until the pilot started the descent towards the destination airport. Suddenly, there was extreme turbulence. People began to panic and shout. I was sitting in an aisle seat with one of my closest friends in the aisle seat next to mine.
I remember we held hands while chaos reigned around us. I remember we tried to pray, and then a loud, metal-scraping sound jarred my brain. Then there were no memories . . . until I woke up from my coma five weeks later in a South African hospital.
I don’t recall the actual impact of the plane crash, and I hope I never do. In the wreckage, I sustained third degree burns over 65% of my body. I was immediately flown to Johannesburg, South Africa for emergency surgery at Milpark Hospital.
3 months into my 7-month stay at Milpark, I saw my reflection for the first time. I will never forget that moment—that conflicting feeling of seeing a completely unfamiliar face in a reflection that felt so familiar. This was when I realized that being Kechi had very little to do with looking like Kechi.
Something unlocked inside me that day. It was a firm, unshakeable truth about identity that no one but God would be able to take away from me: My scars do not define me.
Such a simple phrase, yet it has a profound effect when you believe it. It changes everything because you learn to define yourself by qualities that go beyond the physical.
Reintegrating into society with this mindset was an inevitable uphill battle. The world is a heavily judgmental place, full of ever-changing beauty standards and moral values. We are constantly told how we should feel about ourselves through every medium possible.
With physical appearance especially, there is a historical disconnect between what is and what should be, and that disconnect is much deeper for those of us who, for whatever reason, do not fit the socially acceptable definition of what it means to look “normal.”
But the world could not shake my sense of self. The world had no way of knowing that I had fixed my identity unto Him who made me, He who made us all. I chose to see myself through God’s ever-loving eyes, and so, until God changed how He sees us, how He loves us, I would never cease to cherish myself.
The world also did not know the kind of support system that God had put around me at this most vulnerable time in my life. I was surrounded by people who supported my sense of identity. From the moment I first opened my eyes after the plane crash, my mother, father, sister, relatives, friends and many other loved ones that were not blood-related prioritized my healing over my physical scars. This validated my own belief that the scars were indeed secondary to my recovery.
But the world would eventually learn all these things, thanks to my appearance on America’s Got Talent. I was a finalist as a singer in 2017 and again in 2019. Through that platform, I was able to share my voice and my story with the world. In doing so, I was also able to share my faith and my perspective on identity and self-love on a scale no one around me could’ve ever predicted.
As human beings, we are constantly barraged by the world’s ever-changing standards. But I believe every single person has it within them to access the confidence necessary to exist authentically in a world that seems to condemn and almost fear that which is different. When we free ourselves from what the world says we should be, we just may discover exactly who we were actually born to be.
I found my purpose within this freedom. I learned to draw strength from the memories of my classmates—the 60 angels, as they came to be called—to live my life as fully and as wonderfully as possible on their behalf. My life was a gift, and to hide it, to waste it would be an insult to all 107 who lost theirs on that plane that day. Through AGT, I was able to reach countless people with the message: there is life after trauma.
My trauma unveiled my authentic self, and God used it to reveal my purpose. This certainly does not mean that a life of authenticity and purpose is paved by life-altering trauma. Each of us has had both good and bad experiences that shape us, and shape how we see ourselves and the world. Some experiences can wear their bearers down, and those who overcome such experiences typically must reach deep within to pull out a certain level of strength and endurance to do so. It is undoubtedly hard. But once they are on the other side, they are stronger. More confident. More capable, more knowledgeable.
God built us this way as a species, to have an endless capacity to grow, to learn, to discover more about who we are and what we can do, for as long as we live. We very rarely have control over the things that happen to us in this life, but we can control how we react to those things when they do happen. We can decide how we want those things to shape us, and that, I believe, is the true road to authenticity.
The world’s view of you can never invalidate your relevance or diminish your value. Never allow yourself to be bullied into believing that you are less, that you deserve less, solely based on the fact that you may not fit into the mold the world makes for you. The world’s perception of you may not always match yours. I understand this deeply. But that is perfectly okay. Because your value as God’s wonderful creation is intrinsic. No number of scars and trauma, visible or invisible, can ever change that.
–Written by Kechi Okwuchi, author of More Than My Scars. Used by permission from the author.
