Ep. 101: Life After Tragedies
God Hears Her Podcast
Episode 101 – Life After Tragedies
Elisa Morgan & Eryn Eddy with Julia Pinkster
Julia: Willow has completely changed my life around. Because I used to not be able to walk into a store, and now I can without having an anxiety attack. And it’s incredibly powerful. And my mom…my mom will look at me and be like we’ve got our daughter back.
Elisa: Oh beautiful.
Julia: Having that confidence is so great to have again, because I have a dog who will protect me when I feel like I’m at my most vulnerable.
Voice: You’re listening to God Hears Her, a podcast for women where we explore the stunning truth that God hears you, He sees you, and He loves you because you are His. Find out how these realities free you today on God Hears Her.
Elisa: Welcome to God Hears Her. I’m Elisa Morgan.
Eryn: And I'm Eryn Eddy. What has tragedy looked like in your life? Have you faced any hardships out of your control like the loss of a family member or a battle with post-traumatic stress disorder? Or do you feel like you haven’t had any tragedies in your life? Well today, we’re talking with someone who has faced a lot of loss and pain from tragedies in her life.
Elisa: Our conversation with Julia Pinkster allowed for a reflection of her story and the many tragedies that she’s faced. Julia grew up in Kalamazoo, Michigan, and is now at Kalamazoo Valley Community College to pursue a degree in paramedicine. She has a service dog named Willow who’s inspired her to become involved in raising and training dogs for police canine units. Her faith is so incredibly important to her and has been her biggest rock during her darkest times.
Eryn: We want to let you know that the conversation today includes some triggering language about death and suicide. Please call the suicide hotline at 988 for immediate help, or visit their website 988lifeline.org, if you or someone you love needs help. We also want to take this opportunity to let you know that it’s okay to talk to someone. If you think it’s best for you, please reach out to a therapist or a counselor to talk to.
Elisa: Thank you for that, Eryn. Therapy is good for everybody. Now let’s get into our conversation with Julia and her precious dog, Willow, today on God Hears Her. Eryn, we actually get to sit with Julia Pinkster today.
Eryn: I’m so excited. This is the first time in a while that we’ve been able to sit across from one of our guests.
Elisa: Exactly, instead of doing it digitally. Julia, welcome. We’re glad you’re with us.
Julia: Thank you.
Elisa: We just want to know your story. You’re from Michigan.
Julia: Yep.
Elisa: You’re kind of a local girl here.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: And you’re not super old.
Julia: No.
Elisa: You’re in your early twenties?
Julia: I just turned 21.
Elisa: And you’ve already lived very full life.
Julia: Yes.
Elisa: And you know just in chatting with you, I’m intrigued by how specific your interests are. And I have a feeling they’re because you’ve endured, experienced some very specific situations.
Julia: Yes.
Elisa: So can you just tell us your story? Walk us back.
Julia: Yes.
Elisa: You don’t have to start at age one. But, you know, if you want to.
Julia: Basically, when I was three, I had a brother who was born. And he was diagnosed with severe cerebral palsy about six months into his life, and…
Elisa: And you were three years old.
Julia: Yes, yes.
Elisa: Yeah, and I’m sure you didn’t understand what that was.
Julia: No, it was very much so…a lot of my parents caring for my brother and me not understanding what’s going on. But it was also something that I was used to. So often times, I would just get him out of bed. And I remember sometimes just very distinctly being able to wake up before school and get my brother out of bed, get his diaper changed and all of that stuff from like a very, very young age. I guess I kind of always grew up as a caregiver for him.
Elisa: Can I ask why? I mean obviously you’re the older sister, but were your parents involved? Were they working too?
Julia: Yeah, so parents were very heavily involved. It was just something where I kind of saw the stress that my brother gave my parents. And I just wanted to help any way that I could.
Elisa: I hear a tender heart there, yeah, yeah.
Julia: Being a first-born, it’s kind of that situation where you just always want to help, especially when I saw that my parents were just overwhelmed with him and stressed and all of that stuff. And that was kind of just something I always grew up around. And I never really struggled with it or having the idea of having a younger sibling who was quote-unquote “different.” And so I guess, I was in seventh grade, I don’t remember the year. My grandma suddenly died due to a brain aneurysm. And following that, that was a very sudden. Like she was healthy. She was with my youngest brother at the time actually when it happened.
Elisa: Oh gosh.
Julia: Yeah, and my dad’s actually a paramedic. And so he ended up working on my grandma.
Elisa: Oh.
Julia: And my dad has a wonderful ability to be a paramedic.
Elisa: He must.
Julia: He like…he’s able to completely like disassociate from the feelings in order to just like get what’s done that has to be done. And like he’ll deal with everything else later. And that’s always been something I’ve greatly admired, and I guess I’ve kind of taken on that trait as well. But following that, we had seven other family members die that year.
Elisa: Good grief.
Julia: Yeah.
Eryn: Wow, that was a lot.
Elisa: Okay, and you’re in seventh grade now.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: This is traumatic.
Julia: Yeah, and some of them were like distant family members. But that year, it was a lot of funerals.
Elisa: Yeah.
Eryn: I would imagine that became a normal in that…I mean it wasn’t normal, but it became a normal to go to funerals.
Julia: Yeah, yeah.
Eryn: That just…that type of grief became normal.
Julia: Yeah, it definitely did. And it was always something that I guess I was like, okay, more tears. I’m used to that now and…
Eryn: Yeah. How did that shape your perspective of life?
Julia: I think it had a large impact on how I chose to live life. Cause I actually…I have a tattoo on my arm. And I got a poem from my seventh grade teacher the exact same year that my grandma passed. And it was about the dash and how the dash between your birth and your death dates represents your entire life. I guess I kind of formed my views based on that poem, because it really hit home. And it was my grandma’s entire life, all of her sixty-plus years are just put into a small dash.
Elisa: You had a profound understanding of the brevity of life, or as the Bible talks about, numbering our days at a very young age.
Julia: Yeah, two and a half years after I lost my grandma and all of that, my brother suddenly died as well. I had just finished freshman year of high school, and I was going into the summer before sophomore year.
Elisa: Okay, and your brother would have been three years younger.
Julia: Yes.
Elisa: So…so…
Julia: He was twelve.
Elisa: And you said suddenly he died.
Julia: Yes, we had a foreign exchange student that was over, and she was on the cross country team that fall, and I wasn’t. But I was on track. And that’s kind of how we got to know each other. And she embraced my brother with open arms. Because we actually had her only for like the last two-three months of her visa. And what ended up happening was we were having a going away party for her. And so we had cross country team and track team over. It was about 13 other teenagers. And one of my friends’ parents comes out to me and is like, you need to go inside. So I walk in, and all I hear is like my mom saying, like no, Colin. It’s not your time.
Eryn: Oh.
Julia: Don’t leave and walk in on her doing CPR on my brother. And he was on the ground. And yeah, it was definitely very difficult situation and very difficult thing to hear. I almost had to go back out and act like everything was okay. Cause I had these other 13 people that were over that I didn’t know too well. And then I just kind of kept bouncing back and forth trying to put on a smile. The paramedics ended up coming and confirmed that my brother was dead. And then we had the morgue show up. And they had to come and take his body away.
Elisa: Oh gosh.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: Take us forward. And how did his death affect you and shape you…
Julia: Yeah, so…
Elisa: …and your family?
Julia: Definitely through that, I learned that the best way for me to heal from stuff like that is to help others that are in similar situations. We started a second church plant the year he passed or something like that. At this new church plant, me and my parents helped start up the disabilities program, because that’s what initially drew us to our church was that they had that. And we had someone who would watch my brother so that me and my family could still go to church…
Elisa: Beautiful.
Julia: …and like not have to worry about being interrupted. And they knew how to work all the basic machines and all of that. And that was really, really neat, and it really drew us to that church. And so we started at this new location. And I have this little boy who I watch, and he has a chromosomal disorder. But I just like loved being able to spend time with him and being able to see him grow as a little boy. And that always…I was like please, let me work for you guys. I love doing it and helping them and being able to kind of give them that relief that other caregivers gave for my parents.
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: It was a way for you to invest too in the reality of your brother even though he was gone, you know.
Julia: Yeah.
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: That’s precious, Julia, that is.
Julia: It’s definitely something that I like just enjoy doing so much. And it always made me feel better. Then, actually two and a half years after I lost my brother, it was my senior year of high school. And it was during like the polar vortex that we got.
Elisa: Oh, I remember that.
Julia: Yeah, and…
Elisa: Not fun winter.
Julia: Uh, uh. I was having severe migraines…
Eryn: Oh.
Julia: …consistent neck pain and very like difficult problems that I couldn’t eat, and I felt sick to my stomach after eating like two bites of something. And I did cross country and track. So it was very important for me to be able to…
Elisa: You bet.
Eryn: Get protein.
Julia: Yeah.
Eryn: Nutrition, yeah.
Julia: …be able to eat. So I saw a nutritionist, and nothing really was working that we were trying. And I was seeing a therapist at this time. And I just remember crying to her about how much pain I was in all the time. And she actually ended up calling my mom and was like I’m really worried about your daughter. She is in constant pain. And then it’ll flare up, and she can’t even see. And like I wasn’t able to run. I had to stop running. And one of my coaches actually said, do not come back until you get this figured out.
Elisa: Oh gosh. So really a physical problem not an emotional problem.
Julia: No, it was entirely physical.
Elisa: Okay.
Eryn: Were you able to articulate that it was painful, or were…
Julia: Yes.
Eryn: …yeah.
Julia: I was like…
Eryn: So you were in tune with that. It was painful, yeah.
Julia: Yeah, and part of it had to do with the fact after running track and cross country for all four years of high school, like I knew my body very well.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: I’ve always been athletic. I always wanted to do more. And there were sometimes where I was working out three-four times a day. And it just became something that was super important to me. And it was a big stress reliever, because the year after I lost my brother, that cross country team they were there the night that my brother passed.
Elisa: Yes.
Julia: So we could go on a four-mile run, and I could get to a point like the turnaround point and just start crying and breaking down.
Elisa: Oh.
Julia: And like I would have my team just huddle there and…
Elisa: That’s lovely.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: Yeah.
Eryn: Well and running is so therapeutic.
Julia: Yep.
Eryn: Was there any part of you that wanted to, not necessarily hide that you were in pain, but maybe not be a burden…
Julia: Yeah.
Eryn: …because you’ve seen what your whole family’s gone through in the last decade?
Julia: Yeah, again being from that paramedic family, like I’m not…not seeing any differences. Like I just feel [inaudible]. I was just kind of thinking, okay, what’s going on. But told my mom I was like I know there’s something actually wrong with me. And it was actually on my brother’s birthday that we went, and we got an MRI. And that was probably one of the most painful MRIs I’ve ever been in, because my head was hurting; and my spine started like aching. And it was a very miserable and very long MRI, and it was only like 20 minutes.
Elisa: It was hard for you.
Julia: Yeah. And so during this whole polar vortex, we get a call from my doctor. They had set up the appointment and everything. And she actually told my mom like I need you to sit down, cause this doctor knew me. She’s known me. I was one of her very first patients. And she knew my brother and just all of that. And she’s like yeah, I…I need you to sit down.
Eryn: She had the context of what your family’s gone through.
Julia: Yes, yep.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: And she said, so we got the results from the MRI, and there’s a mass in her head.
Elisa: Oh boy.
Julia: And we don’t know how far it goes up. And they’re like, we need to schedule more MRIs immediately.
Elisa: Of more areas.
Julia: Yeah, cause they only got my neck area. So they didn’t get my full head.
Eryn: Okay.
Julia: So it was within my fourth ventricle of my cerebrospinal fluid. And they kind of were like we can’t see everything. All we see is that there’s a blockage of some sort. And so we didn’t know if I had hydrocephalus which is just like increasing pressure in your brain due to the increase of the fluid buildup.
Elisa: Fluid.
Julia: So we were very, very concerned.
Eryn: So you find out it’s cancer.
Julia: Yeah, so we get up to…
Eryn: Okay.
Julia: …the hospital. Because I also had epilepsy. And so I was seeing my neurologist. He knew my family, knew the situation. And he’s like I need you up at Helen DeVos immediately, cause we couldn’t get my MRIs scheduled till that Wednesday, and we found out on a Monday.
Eryn: What was it like going to…
Elisa: Yeah.
Eryn: …sleep with that knowledge.
Elisa: Stress.
Julia: Actually…
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: So because my neurologist called, and he said I need her up here immediately, we made the what is supposed to be an hour-long drive from Kalamazoo to Grand Rapids, and it ended up being a three-hour drive cause of all the snowstorms and everything.
Eryn: Oh my gosh.
Julia: And we made that drive. We actually got a two and a half hour MRI done that night.
Eryn: Wow.
Julia: I was admitted into the hospital. And the neurosurgeon stayed over because he had heard that some girl was coming in with some fluid buildup of some sort. We don’t know what’s going on. And he stayed to kind of get his eyes on me.
Elisa: Fantastic, yeah.
Eryn: Wow.
Julia: And he said, I’m shocked you’re just sitting here being able to do fine motor movement. Cause he’s like based on what we’re seeing right now, you shouldn’t be able to.
Eryn: Wow.
Julia: Yeah.
Eryn: Talk about mind over matter.
Julia: I know. Oh yeah.
Elisa: She’s a strong girl.
Julia: Yeah.
Eryn: You’ve got that emotional strength. They’re like that’s what’s making her mobile.
Julia: Yeah.
Eryn: You know. Wow.
Julia: So then once we got our scans back basically the entire thing was blocked.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: And the neurosurgeon said, I don’t know how the fluid’s getting through, but it is. You are very lucky to be alive right now. That has to get out pretty quickly. So we met with the neurosurgeon Tuesday. And that Friday, I had my surgery.
Elisa: Okay.
Julia: And then I was out of the hospital that Monday.
Eryn: Wow.
Elisa: And your surgery was to remove the fluid or the mass?
Julia: It was to remove the mass.
Elisa: Okay.
Eryn: Okay.
Julia: My aunt is a prayer warrior. And so she was praying that the tumor would pop out and like it was just sprayed with cooking oil.
Eryn: I love that prayer.
Elisa: That’s a…that’s a great visual, yeah.
Eryn: That’s a great…that’s a great prayer.
Julia: Well and she got that. And then the surgeon came out and said it popped out like it was sprayed with Pam.
Elisa: No. Oh my gosh.
Julia: But Pam is my grandma’s name.
Eryn: Oh my goodness.
Julia: So…
Eryn: Oh that gives me chills.
Elisa: So they kind of worked together.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: Yep, and that…that was one of those moments where I was like…
Elisa: Wow.
Julia: …a like it’s a little funny like ha ha like thanks, grandma but…
Eryn: The Lord has a sense of humor.
Julia: Yes, yep. And knowing that like my grandma was still watching over me.
Elisa: So personal, yeah.
Julia: And being able to see God work through that was really, really incredible.
Elisa: God’s comforting you. What was your relationship with Him like up to that point, you know, losing your brother and…
Julia: Yeah, so I guess I always grew up in a church, very healthy family. We just kind of get tighter with each thing
Eryn: I was about to ask, how did grief strengthen your family?
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: Yeah, yeah.
Julia: Everything just being able to lean on each other as a family and know that we’re always there for each other. We could be crying, and the next thing we know like we got everyone was just kind of gathered around and really, really neat. But it was really after I lost my brother that my faith became just super, super important to me. And that’s kind of where it really became my own.
Elisa: Because often tragedies like that take us away from God.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: But yours seemed to draw you closer to Him?
Julia: Yes.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah, and so that’s kind of the hard thing with having someone who has a disability. When we lost them, it was…it was like a double-edged sword. It’s very, very painful; but at the same time you’re like, oh thank God I don’t have to deal with this anymore.
Elisa: Oh, so there’s a relief.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: And then do you feel guilty about that?
Julia: Then you feel guilty because of the relief.
Elisa: Because…
Eryn: Yeah, right.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: Yeah.
Julia: And that was something where it took a while for us to be able to say like okay.
Elisa: Yeah.
Eryn: Of course, yeah.
Julia: Like it’s okay to feel this way. Just because we’re thankful we don’t have to do these things anymore doesn’t mean that we don’t love him.
Elisa: That’s so true. Great freedom in that. And the Lord drew you closer to Him.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: With that authenticity it sounds like.
Eryn: That’s a really powerful thing to say. I know that somebody listening right now probably needed to hear that.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: It’s incredibly comforting to understand that it…we don’t have this mean God who’s conniving to take us over.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: We have a loving, compassionate God who can use everything for our good and…and His glory.
Julia: Yes.
Elisa: Okay, so bring us forward now. How long has it been since you underwent that surgery?
Julia: So this past February was three years.
Eryn: Wow.
Julia: Yeah, and…
Elisa: And did you have other treatments?
Julia: I went through radiation. So I graduated high school early.
Elisa: Okay.
Julia: And I spent six and a half weeks in radiation.
Elisa: You’re assisted by Willow.
Julia: Yep.
Elisa: And what is her purpose in your life?
Julia: So she is service dog for PTSD.
Elisa: Oh.
Eryn: You light up when we bring up Willow. I wish everybody could see her smile.
Elisa: Yeah, it’s awesome.
Eryn: It’s so sweet.
Elisa: That’s awesome.
Julia: Yeah, she is oh man she is the light of my life.
Elisa: How long have you had her?
Julia: I’ve had her. She just turned two when I got her, so May will be two years that I’ve had her.
Elisa: And how did you know that you needed help with PTSD and that a dog would be your prescription?
Julia: Yeah, so there was this conversation that I had with my mom one evening. About freshman year of college, I was really, really struggling and like severe like suicidal thoughts and ideations. And it was very hard to want to live.
Elisa: You’d gone through so much, hon, yeah.
Julia: Well and I had just beaten cancer.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: Like not even a year prior. And so it was okay, you’re gonna beat cancer. Then you’re gonna go through radiation. And then you’re gonna graduate. And I still, thank goodness, I was still able to go to prom. I was still able to walk when I graduated and just like amazing like I still like I didn’t miss a lot.
Eryn: You got to experience [inaudible] yeah.
Julia: Yeah, and so it was then, hey, you’re gonna go through the summer and then you’re gonna get shipped off to college.
Elisa: And you’re like wait.
Eryn: So much change.
Julia: And I knew that was always the college I wanted to go to. But going from pretty much not doing anything for like as far as school goes for almost a year and then jumping right back into it, not only jumping back into it, just having to jump back into it but on a much more difficult scale was a shock. And it took a lot out of me.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: But definitely like it was one of those things that I really, really struggled.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: And one evening, I was talking to my mom. And I don’t remember how the conversation got brought up, but it was just about how I saw some service dogs for PTSD and how they weren’t just like military-related and called my mom. And I was like I showed her the videos. And we’re both sitting there just crying about how amazing these dogs can be. And my mom was like, let’s seriously think about it. As we looked into it, like you can self-train, and you can find trainers that…
Elisa: How lovely.
Julia: Yeah.
Eryn: That’s so cool.
Julia: And once I got her, I…like I have photos of her. I just started sobbing. And the breeder actually said, I’ll give her to you for free if you’ll come and work for me over the summer at my kennel.
Elisa: Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
Eryn: Wow.
Julia: And…
Elisa: What a blessing.
Eryn: What a blessing.
Julia: …yeah, and so I was like absolutely. Like…
Eryn: Sign me up.
Julia: Yeah, and this is…
Eryn: I’ll be there tomorrow.
Julia: …yeah. And this is when covid hit and everything when I got her.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: And so I had nothing to do but train her.
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: So Julia, what would you say to somebody listening at your young age but with all that’s under your belt, you know there’s gonna be a lot ahead of you too. You know you’ve got to…you understand that your dash will continue.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: God willing for a good while. What would you say about life, about its brevity, its longevity, about our contribution, it’s meaning? What would you say to somebody listening about that?
Julia: I think the biggest thing is to try and be selfless, because if you focus on yourself too much, then yeah, you’re gonna get down about yourself. You’re gonna say oh, why me? Why me? And I feel like being able to help others allows you to step outside of that. And my thing was like yeah, what I’m going through is bad. I could either be going through worse or there are people that are going through worse.
Elisa: Another question, you know, your…your grandma lived till her sixth-seventh decade or so…
Julia: Yes.
Elisa: …if I’m listening correctly. And…and your brother Colin lived just a little bit over one decade.
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: Do both have the same significance as a dash, you know as a…as a…
Julia: Yes.
Elisa: …an in-between beginning and death?. Because that’s a considerable difference. And…and how do you speak to that?
Julia: What I really, really learned with my brother was, it wasn’t about the amount of time that you had on the earth; but it was the amount of people that you impacted in that time. Because we had hundreds of people show up to his funeral, because they were like I was so impacted. And he couldn’t even speak.
Eryn: Wow.
Julia: Like you’re impacted by somebody who can’t speak and who can’t walk. That is something that I was like, it really has nothing to do with how long we’re on this earth.
Elisa: Or even really what we tangibly contribute.
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: His presence…
Julia: Yeah.
Elisa: …intangibly…
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: …contributed to a lot of people’s lives.
Julia: Yeah. And so that was a really neat and really big turning point. Because I was like this has nothing to do with the length of time, but it has everything to do with the amount of people you touch during that time.
Eryn: Yeah, we kind of breeze past something that you shared. And I’m just so grateful for your vulnerability in talking about your darkest nights and when suicidal ideation and just the pain of what you’re experiencing emotionally just felt really heavy. I know that you’re not alone in that in experiencing that. Could you share to somebody that is processing some of that right now?
Julia: I don’t think there is any one thing that somebody said to me.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: But it was, again, stepping outside of yourself and thinking like how would that hurt other people? Cause when I was in high school, we lost someone to suicide like in our high school. And it was a very tough situation. And seeing how the family was like, we had no clue. First off, like be vulnerable about that. Like tell people that. Tell people that that’s how you’re feeling. And definitely just think about the other people. Because your parents will miss you and your friends. And even if like at that time, because that’s how I felt, was no one would care. But now that I’m like kind of past all of that, I’m like so many people would have cared.
Elisa: Yeah.
Eryn: Yeah.
Elisa: Yeah.
Julia: And even if you don’t think people will, if there…there are always people that will. And like I still struggle with some of that stuff sometimes. But even more so now, I’m like I have a dog that has to…like I’ll have my days where I don’t want to get out of bed. But I have to get out of bed. I have to go walk her. I have to feed her. Finding purpose in the little things is very important, because even if it’s okay, I got out of bed; and I got dressed today. And really pushing into that but also like adding prayer into that too. Cause there were times where I’d be laying on my floor in my dorm like crying and being like, God, I need strength right now because I know that that’s not what I actually want to do. But it sure feels like it right now. And just give me the strength to make it through till tomorrow. Us, as humans, we’re not meant to do it alone.
Elisa: No.
Julia: We’re not meant to do life at all alone, so let alone something that is so difficult.
Elisa: Yeah.
Julia: That’s not our burden to carry on our own. And being able to share that and be vulnerable about that is something that I think a lot more people need. Because it’s incredibly hard. Also having those people that are God-centered, because they’re gonna say like I’m praying for you during this time and like knowing that, having that like point back to God and say like hey, this is a Scripture that I wanted to give you. There was one that I always leaned on especially when I was going through my cancer journey. It’s Psalm 23, verse 4, which is “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil. For Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” That, to me, was very, very significant during my surgery. Because I was like I’m quite literally walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
Elisa: Yes.
Julia: Cause I was going into surgery, and I truly didn’t know if I was gonna wake up or not. Cause they were like this is a very like, they were poking around in my brain.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: But yeah, just leaning onto people or leaning onto dogs.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: You know like…
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: …Willow has completely changed my life around, because I used to not be able to walk into a store; and now I can without having an anxiety attack. And it’s incredibly powerful. And my mom…my mom will look at me and be like we’ve got our daughter back.
Elisa: Oh beautiful.
Julia: Having that confidence is so great to have again. Because I have a dog who will protect me when I feel like I’m at my most vulnerable.
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: And she has saved me a lot of time, cause I’d have anxiety attacks. And I’d be out for the rest of the evening. And she definitely gives me a sense of just peace.
Eryn: Well, Julia, your strength…I mean you being able to just share so openly about one of the most hardest times of your life just reflects back to your strength that you have in the Lord. And sharing the depth of you, I know is…is going to really impact somebody that’s listening right now.
Julia: Yeah.
Eryn: And that’s exactly what you desire to do.
Julia: Yeah.
Eryn: Is to help and be others-focused.
Julia: Yeah, I love…
Eryn: Just so grateful.
Julia: …I love sharing my story. Because people will look at me and be like, I don’t know how you’re able to do it. Like literally through the grace of God…
Eryn: Yeah.
Julia: …and leaning on others.
Eryn: I can’t believe Julia’s strength. Her ability to share her story was incredible. She truly shares God’s strength and capabilities through her vulnerability and experiences.
Elisa: I know, Eryn. She’s so young, and yet she’s gained a lot of wisdom about life and death.
Eryn: Well, before we close out today’s episode of God Hears Her, we want to remind you that the show notes are available in the podcast description. There’s also a link for the new suicide prevention website. If you or someone you know needs help, you can dial 988. You can also connect with Elisa and me on social. Find out how when you visit our website at godhearsher.org. That’s godhearsher.org.
Elisa: Thanks for joining us. And don’t forget. God hears you. He sees you. And He loves you because you are His.
Today’s episode was engineered by Anne Stevens and produced by Daniel Ryan Day and Jade Gustafson. We also want to recognize Diana and Mary for all of their help and support. Thanks everyone.
Eryn: God Hears Her is a production of Our Daily Bread Ministries.
